One Of The Best Sales Pitches I've Read In A Long Time!

[Duk]

I always love a witty bit of promotion. This was found by 1 of the lads at work, this eBay add is good for a laugh. 

"So picture this (because it's probably your life right now), you're happily sitting on the couch, enjoying a few cold ones whilst watching your favorite sport, when the lady of the house decides there are a stack of chores that need doing and she wants them done like yesterday. She starts piling up jobs for you to do, like the lawns, taking out the bins, ironing (we all know that's really her job), dishes and walking that damned flea ridden dog she made you buy. Speaking of the dog, all he ever seems to do is lick his nether regions and turn perfectly good dog food into crap that he deposits all over your backyard......and that's another task you're about to be given too, poo patrol !!!!

You're bottom lip starts to quiver, you feel the dread of suburban bliss overwhelm you. Where's the excitement your life once had, the freedom, the never-ending joy. Welcome to domestic suburban boredom my friend, it's the silent killer of mens spirits since the dawn of time. You might as well cut your nads off right now and present them to the missus in a pickle jar, cos they ain't no use to you anymore. Your mates never seem to have this trouble and do you know why? Once upon a time, in a moment of weakness, their ladies let them buy a dirtbike and they've been away on boys weekends every since. They do pity you, at home, domestically challenged and without your very own bike to escape the drudgery your life has become. But do they remember you whilst away for days at a time, riding, camping, drinking cold beverages beside a roaring camp fire....Shit No!!!! They are having too much fun to even be bothered expending any mental energy on your sorry life. They do pity you as they drive past all loaded up off on their next adventure. They see you, dragging your ass about the front yard pushing that damned smokey Victa through what seems like acres of Bolivian Jungle that used to be your front lawn. They feel a fleeting moment of pity, then they turn up some AC/DC, hit the loud pedal and leave you and suburbia in the rear view mirror. You watch as they leave, a tiny little tear forms in the corner of your eye. It could be the pollen of the wifes rose garden that you just accidentally flattened whilst watching your mates drive off, but more likely, it's because you've been left at home alone with your manhood in a sling, and a list of chores as long as the Kokoda Track.....and as equally challenging.

But there is hope, praise the lord, salvation for you soul is at hand my man. Yes, you too can have your very own Freedom Machine, a marvel of modern 2 wheeled engineering that will blast you from your suburban sickness into the great wide open countryside, right alongside your buddies. With bulk amounts of horsepower on tap, a chassis as sweet as Jennifer Hawkins ass, and looks that'll definitely make your mates jealous, you'll never be happier. They'll be the ones left behind as you open up the tap and cut loose with 450cc of earth shattering power at your disposal. They will marvel at the awesome combustion thunder as you pass them time after time. But how does she ride I hear you ask my suburbanite captive, well it doesn't get much better than a Honda 450, with exceptional build quality, reliability and ease of maintenance. With stainless valves, new tyres and battery, this freedom machine is more reliable than the wifes headaches on anniversary night. It'll get you up and over that big gnarly hill and back to camp for an esky of cold ones for many years to come. The superb capable suspension will ensure you return to terra firma with comfort and control after leaving the earths gravitational constraints whilst hitting that big sweet jump, the Nissin brakes bite harder than a half starved white pointer on the hunt for tourists at Bondi and the bike will rail ruts around corners better than a Metro train running 5 minutes late.

Will you remember the bins whilst hurtling down a firetrail on the rear wheel......Hell No!!!! Will you care if the grass grows a few more feet whilst you traverse an icy mountain stream.....I doubt it!!!!! Will you even remember that damn dog and his never ending ability to turn your back yard into a turd farm....Never!!!! Why, because you are somewhere riding in the greatest countryside on the planet......Australia my friend. I don't need to tell you that, you already know how great this country is, but the real beauty is best seen from the perch of a fire breathing dirtbike. Nobody will see the huge grin inside your helmet as your blast along roosting everyone in sight, but when you get back to camp & start bench racing with your mates, they'll all know you've made the right decision. Now, you've just gotta man up, gather the intestinal fortitude and pluck up the courage to ask the minister for war & finance for a few coins in order to secure what is arguably one of the greatest assets you can own.....you're very own Freedom Machine. So what are you waiting for buddy, get the misuses permission and get your very own Freedom Machine. If you don't have a missus, don't hesitate, just do it. Or if you are a missus, buy your fella this bike. Trust me, it'll be the best single investment you'll ever make to get him out of your hair. Even if you are a missus, or miss that likes to ride, how'd you like to roost the fella's on this baby, show them how quick a chick can beat them to the top of that hill, or how nimble you can move your ass along a single trail."