Its an absolute joke.

[Balocco]

A man goes duck hunting,during duck season,he stumbles across a wounded duck,and feeling sorry for it,he takes it home and tries to heal it,by putting a bandage over the wound. When he gets home,he enters his bedroom,and finds his wife still in bed,too lazy to get up. So he says "have a look at this pig I have here",his wife replies"that's not a pig it's a duck" he tells his wife" I was'nt talking to you ,I was talking to the duck"

[pep105]

Woman says to her husband, "You only ever want sex when you're drunk"
Husband replies "Thats not true sometimes I want a kebab".

[pep105]

"Good Morning this is Pakistani Radio Sports News.....................
here are tomorrows cricket results.

[MD]

You know how customers are always right?
Well this fool was right but couldn't figure out why...

[alfagtv100 (Biggus)]

I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.
I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection..........but she did.

[MD]

I hear it's been a bit cold in Mexico lately...Monkeys at the Melbourne zoo are demanding shorts.

[twistybits]

SHIT JOKE.......

A chemist walks back into his shop after a short break and sees a man leaning against the wall.

"What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant

"He came in for cough syrup but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives" replied the assistant.

"You f****** idiot" exclaims the chemist, "you can't treat a cough with laxatives"

"Of course you can" replies the assistant, "look at him, he's too f***** scared to cough"

[twistybits]

An Italian boy's confession
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

[MD]

One for you daylight savers..

Well, 'daylight saving' had just ended and in the early hours of that morning
Paddy found his dyslectic mate, Seamus, covering his penis with boot polish.
Paddy said, "You idiot - you're supposed to TURN YOUR CLOCK BACK."..............

[twistybits]

Ford has announced plans to acquire French automaker Renault and engineering teams have already joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it as needed.