Total Lemons

[poohbah]

Something to spark debate. Just bought and read the 2012 book "Total Lemons" by Sydney motoring writer Tony Davis. Lists and discusses his choice of 111 of worst auto lemons in the world.

This is where you all come in - three Alfas make the list.

His basic analysis:

At number 20 - The Alfasud - good car except for shocking rust and poor build quality.
At number 90 - The Alfa 33 - a new body on the Sud platform (so for faults see above)
And at number 104 (you won't believe it) - the Alfa Montreal - "every foible of Alfa ergonomics in abundance... reliability and durability were everything you'd expect (of Alfa)..."

Every time he refers to Alfa it is with a snide remark about rust, unreliability etc.

I haven't read anything by him before, but can only presume he is one of the haters.

So over to you all.

[colcol]

I have all his 3 'Lemon' books, and it is a good read, not to be taken TOO seriously, it is quite funny, and without the foibles of all the car makers, there would be nothing to laugh at, hardly going to sell my 2 Alfa Romeo's cause somebody doesn't like them.
How many Camry owners look at Camry Forums, because they love talking about their cars...not many, unlike us.
But it is good to laugh at British Leyland and all the horror cars they produced, Colin.

[poohbah]

Yep definitely worth a read, and a laugh. And of course, not to be taken too seriously. The whole point of the book is to generate discussion - everyone's opinion is bound to be different.

To be honest, it really is the Montreal's inclusion I find hardest to understand. I was reading somewhere else the other day that it is up there as one of the most "affordable" 70s collectors cars out there, but prices are on the way up. I'd certainly be happy to have one in the garage if someone was giving one away!

My shame is that I've only owned one of his lemons (EA Falcon) - though my sister once owned a magnificent burnt-orange Marina!

[colcol]

I keep thinking about 'Total Lemons' and i want to know, why is there no AU Falcon, [the car that started the rot for Ford Australia], the Holden Gemini and the Ford Taurus, in one of my 'worst car books', the Chevrolet 'Gemini' is in it, due to its diabolicle handling and brakes, the Monty was not so much as a bad car, but introduced at a time when Alfa Romeo, [nee, the Italian Goverment], were in a finacial crisis, and they were trying to get the Alfasud project going, but it is good to see the ARNA gets a gong for trying to be like Rover and Triumph, jumping into bed with a Japanese carmaker and calling it a Rover Concerto or a Triumph Acclaim, we came up with ARNA, Colin.

[poohbah]

If the AU were included that would double my record of Lemon ownership. To be fair, I really liked my AU. It was a metallic green series 1 wagon, and I purchased it because it was the only car available with a back seat wide enough to fit two kids seats and still have room for a third passenger (made the commodore seem like a corolla). And the boot was enormous. With back seats down it had as much room as most vans, so it was perfect for taking the wife and kids on holiday - much more room for stuff than the 4WD SUVs I've owned since, and probably as adequate off road! Plus it was pretty quick on the road, and it never gave us any grief of any sort. But we traded it in on a mid sized SUV when we no longer needed to carry prams and assorted child-support accessories on every trip.

[extraball]

we own an alfa and a camry. Out in the camry yesterday, and a warning light came on. After we parked, did some shopping, came back, started it back up, the light was gone. Infact it never returned, so I said.......... seems even a camry can have an alfa day lol

[Nate Dog]

 
Ok
I might buy it,
Anyone that can come up with the following gem is worth reading:

Look no further than that curious Nissan - Alfa Romeo effort called Arna, which smoothly blended Nissan flair and Alfa quality.

He's got talent.

[kartone]

extraball, does the alfa and camry sleep together ?

[extraball]

extraball, does the alfa and camry sleep together ?

no, the alfa is garaged, the camry is left out in the elements! but I have caught that dirty toyota admiring the 147's hot arse!

[LaStregaNera]

I keep thinking about 'Total Lemons' and i want to know, why is there no AU Falcon, [the car that started the rot for Ford Australia],

XF falcon started the Rot - Pah, who needs v8s anyway.
Au is a good car, just really ugly - unkillable straight 6 - hell they drove one from sydney to darwin with no coolant in it.
Better car than the bogan's darling the VT commode.

[colcol]

Ford should have learnt their lesson with the Taurus, but didn't and released the unloved AU, down here in Victoria there were hundreds of them down at Altona in a field that they couldn't sell, the VT Commodore, even though it had a forty year old Buick pushrod motor in it, which proves that a nice looking car will always outsell an ugly one.
The book 'Total Lemons' also contains the Lightburn Zeta, a car produced in South Australia in the early to mid sixties, it was made by Walter Lightburn, who at the time was the importer of Alfa Romeo cars, until Alfa Romeo set up in 1970, the Australian division, called Alfa Romeo Australia.
Anyone have any idea, who sold Alfa Romeo's and Lightburns then, where they sold through the same dealerships?, or sold in different dealerships, they also assembled a few Alfa Romeo's at the Lightburn Factory, to try and get around the crippling import tarrifs imposed on imported cars.
Lightburn Industries made car jacks, washing machines and concrete mixers, they still make concrete mixers today, as there is a concrete mixer salesroom around the corner from where i work, their motto is 'Lightburn, mix with the best', Colin.

[Craig_m67]

The book's a complete crock of outdated s#hit.  You do us all a disservice talking about it thereby allowing the googlebots a chance to Hoover it up any rankings or index.

[colcol]

But its a good read, as long as you don't take it too seriously, the Author Tony Davis talks about how certain cars were so bad and why they ended up in the book, good cars are er good, but bad cars can be hilarious, and British Leyland had the market cornered on this one.
Tony Davis writes for the Age's appalling motoring liftout on a Saturday, Colin.

[alfamisa]

Unfortunately journos are like prostitutes, they sell their self dignity to sell an article or better to be seen in a good light to swing a PR job with one of the major auto brands.

Two recent articles that reflect the poor standard of journos in this country and  regurgitation of past flaws tainting current unrelated models;

Carsguide Jan 24 2014 - Paul Pottinger on How very niche, picture of Giulietta and yet a couple of lines that mention two models both hatchbacks one to be discarded in a few years...and goes on to talk about the 4C that isn't even available yet1 Why even mention the bit about a model to be discarded without mentioning it will be the MITO? To someone unfamiliar with alfa that just casts doubt...verdict? He is a wanker.

RACV Royal Auto Feb 2014 - Ernest Litera article on the Giulietta QV. It is factually incorrect, specs wrong and the data page has figures from A disgrace. But worst is the line "...while build quality looks good, we (whos that other? His boyfriend?) curiously noted the spare oil and wipes stored with the tools". WTF!? Instead of a positive that it is he casts doubt because this idiot (journo) doesn't realise all modern engines burn oil and instead of like the BMW 5 series that eliminated the dipstick for electronic warning on dash does not provide oil to top up and like a friend of mine had to go buy 5litres to use a litre...in 5000km from new! Verdict an idiot that should learn about the auto world before writing in well respected(not) rags like RACV (as trusted as ADAC http://www.carscoops.com/2014/02/german-automakers-return-adac-awards.html#more and http://www.carscoops.com/2014/01/adac-official-admits-to-manipulating.html)

[colcol]

The RACV magazine is rubbish, just made for Grey Nomads touring Australia, was a good read about 40 years ago, look at how much an reconditioned engine cost and who had the cheapest tyres, The RACV magazine has been sitting on our work lunch table for a month now, still in the plastic wrapper!
In 'Total Lemons', have a look at the 'Argentina', a original Ford Falcon from 1959, still being sold in Argentina 30 years later with sqaure headlights, these sort of cars are a good read, Colin.